He wakes up and flips the pillow. She’s still asleep. It’s almost always like this. She will sleep until he wakes her. The room is hot with beer sweat and the covers are stale, uncomfortable against his morning skin. He kicks them down to his waist. Their clothes are scattered across the floor, tangled together in twists and folds. He looks down at his body. A little soft for his age, a result of all kinds of over-consumption, but she still wants him from time to time. He props himself against his elbow and looks into her sleeping face. Her cheeks are round and full around her mouth. Her lips are open and her eyelids flutter in response to some unknown dreaming thing.
Filed under: WORDS
Enjoying music these days has become a bit of a struggle. I always seem to be behind on recognizing the latest trend, or the “hot new band” that’s gonna flip the scene on it’s head. More often than not when I finally round that curve and catch up to the hype-machine’s pace car, tomorrow’s “next best thing” has already been relegated to the growing scrap heap of, “yeah, that band was pretty cool.. two months ago!”
Listen up kids, the Gunslingrrr is back. I realize it’s been over a month since I threw up some words to live by and I know y’all have been missing me something fierce (y’all? really?). But I’m here now, sitting at the keyboard, ready to get down to business. Gawd. I loathe the process but I love the groupies. Writing has always been a means to an end for me. In school it brought me grades. Now, hopefully, it’ll bring me pussy. I know, I know.. since when do writers get laid, especially lazy-ass blog-writers. Hank Moody excluded of course, that guy is a sexual dynamo. But what you don’t realize is that I’ve got a secret weapon. I “write” for THEmotherfuckingFUTURISTS.
… (more…)
Filed under: WORDS
Photo via www.science.nasa.gov. Actually.
Although 2009 might be Gunslingrrr’s Year of the Girlfriend, for Gingerkid (The Futurists’ unashamed crusader for nerdiness) it’s The Year of the 3D Movie. Gunslingrrr might end up getting more pussy than me, but we’ll see. WE’LL JUST SEE.
Filed under: WORDS
Anyone who has been in Vancouver for an extended period of time will have a story relating to “the fireworks”. At least, you’d know what “the fireworks” refer to: the annual HSBC Celebration of Light, where there are lots and lots of….fireworks, which always make up for the cheesy music that simultaneously blares across English Bay.
Photo via jeremylatham.com
Remember finding out how it feels to throw up a bottle of Captain Morgan’s behind a dumpster? or, Remember losing your friends in the crowd and sitting with that nice Korean family? or, Remember thinking “Wow, Canada can’t make fireworks for shit!” or, Remember how baller you felt watching them from a West End apartment for the first time? or, Remember missing them altogether because the entire Lower Mainland was trying to squeeze onto the Granville Bridge and your bus was moving slower than Sam Sullivan’s wheelchair? or, Remember remembering that summer fucking rules?
Well, those memories are all you’re going to have from now on, because the fireworks are cancelled this year. Proof. I seriously can’t get enough of this “economic downturn”. It’s the new global warming. They can blame the recession for the city’s increasing lameness all they want, but it’s WAY more fun to blame the Olympics, which is what I’m doing. If we can’t afford to light up the sky for a few nights with technology that was invented by the Chinese before gravity was discovered, how fucked are we going to be after 2010? Just saying.
Filed under: WORDS
I know this has been blogged to death but…… SMOKING LAWS IN VANCOUVER ARE BULLSHIT!!!
Taken with my Macbook, outside of Cuppa Joes, 4th & Alma
I guess this table is within 100 meters of the door or something? I even just quit smoking and am still freaking pissed off about this!
My buddy Jake at Beyond Robson had something pretty interesting to say about this debacle too.
-Gingerkidd
Filed under: WORDS
Is it just me or have music videos become really awesome lately? I went through this crazy music video stage in middle school, where MuchMusic was basically crack to me. Then I lost interest for years and years, THEN Youtube was invented, and now I can watch stuff like this:
Only in high quality of course. Do music videos pretty much live on the internet now? Who actually watches them on TV? Sigh….sometimes life produces really hard questions.
-Gingerkid
Filed under: WORDS
What’s up with all this fog? Fucking weird. Everytime I walk down a dark street alone in this shit I feel like the Headless Horseman is going to gallop out of the mist and throw a pumpkin at me. If you haven’t seen it yet, check out this photo from the front page of the Vancouver Sun (which I just realized is a really douchey and oxymoronic newspaper name):
Photograph by: Bill Keay, Vancouver Sun
That is the view from Cypress, and downtown is under all that white.
I feel strangely prompted to say how much fun Glory Days at the Biltmore was. Usually I cringe at going out on Saturday nights because shit’ll be expensive, but the Biltmore crew actually throws us a bone with the prices. Thanks to last year’s renovation, it’s not too shabby a place to be partying in either. Sometimes, it’s refreshing not to be somewhere completely skeezy. Just sometimes. Also, it’s nice to have a legit party night at a place that has MULTIPLE BATHROOM STALLS (sorry Sweatshop, but if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it). My memory of the music is a bit foggy but I remember being happy with the variety/danceability. Last but not least, I only met ONE creeper: he looked like someone’s visiting Moroccan uncle, and he approached me by waving his hands up and down in front of my body like he was casting a spell or doing Reiki.
All in all, cheap drinks+sweet set-up+big bathroom+hot tunes+few creepers= a big A+ from Gingerkid.
Filed under: WORDS
Although it was really prompted by the movie version of Girl, Interrupted, (who could possibly perform a better crazyfest than Winona Rider, Angelina Jolie, and Brittany Murphy) I think my fascination with psychotic female characters started with lil’ old Alice and her hallucinatory Wonderland. Something about Alice’s clueless innocence when she states “But I don’t want to go among mad people” made me fall in love; since every aspect of Wonderland is a product of her own twisted brainwaves, that makes her the craziest bat in the cave! Although Alice is an unbeatable starting point, there are tons of books about insanity and the female mind. Here’s a list of some of my favorites, a.k.a Gingerkid presents “Crazy Bitches 101″:
It’s December and the Christmas lights are coming out all over the city. Frankly… it’s disgusting. Windows, doorframes, and normally inauspicious store awnings are awash with that flickering, festive bullshit. And if the lights aren’t enough to drive you crazy those same stores insist on playing mindless holiday music that invariably spills out unto the sidewalks which I have to use on a daily basis. When you add the constant barrage of Christmas inspired advertising that greets you on every television channel and roadside billboard to this equation, well, it all becomes too much to handle for this humble blogger.
I work in retail and am already bombarded by people choosing really bad Xmas presents. Even better, I work in a bookstore, the holy grail of Dec. 24th “I’m-only-buying-something-for-you-because-I-feel-obligated-to” purchases. Who knows, maybe people will actually take offense to getting a book called Skinny Bitch which kind-of implies that the recipient is a…fat bitch?
If you like getting books that don’t suck for people, check out these sweet nuggets:
Alright here it is. Don’t freak out Vancouver, but… we need to talk.
I know those are four of the scariest words anyone in a relationship can hear, and you’re probably thinking about bolting out of here to save yourself the trouble, but if you want this to work, you better stick around and listen to what I have to say, because I don’t want to lose you woman, and that’s what it’s come to. I’m ready to walk out that door honey and I’m pretty sure I’m taking the big couch and the flat-screen with me. Do I have you attention? Good.
Saving the best for last. Also I suck at computers and this takes me a looong time, sad I know.
-Gingerkid
